At 4 weeks pregnant, the last thing any couple does, is tell people they’re pregnant. With the rise and volume of women sharing stories of infertility and miscarriage it can seem less stressful to wait as long as possible. That way we don’t have to “un-tell” people the big news if something goes wrong. Many women who have suffered a loss also have emotional reasons for keeping their journey out of the public eye. For both of my previous pregnancies I would say I fell into the norm. Obviously, this time is a bit different and I’ll tell you a few reasons why,

“For God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control.” 2 Timothy 1:7 ESV

I found out Naomi and Noelle were forming in my womb at about 4 weeks pregnant as well. The thing that stopped me from sharing before was good old-fashioned fear.

What if I miscarried? What if something went wrong that I didn’t want to share? I had been most afraid of being treated differently at work at a time so close to achieving promotion.

I have had other women, even at a management level, inform me that telling people too early could be harmful for me emotionally or professionally. In my personal situation (because everyone is different) I was not operating in power or love or self-control. I forgot about the power that God has over all aspects of my life – the Big Joker that trumps every other spade the world could throw at me.

At times I felt my love for my child and my joy in pregnancy had boundaries. This was just as a result of hiding my “secret”. Maybe I had self-control in not telling anyone, but I should have had self-control in how I reacted to others finding out the news.

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works.” Hebrews 10:24

A huge thing for me over the past few months has been striving to love people as Jesus does. I have seen so many hurt and broken people that remind me of my old self. A few years ago I struggled with anxiety and depression until God blessed us with a new situation. It would have meant the world to me for someone to sincerely care about checking in on me or befriending me during that time.

Sharing my journey at 4 weeks pregnant is probably the scariest thing I could do to stir other believers up. I really feel that it could help someone have faith who is in a similar situation as I am.

Struggling to manage the balance between the roles of mom and wife. Trying to figure out where you belong or if you belong in the workplace. Maybe someone else who is venturing into a third c-section. Someone trying to avoid being triggered by the statistics of black women dying during labor. I hope that people reading this may consider investing their time in someone else and that the “someone else’s” know that they aren’t alone.

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Psalms 127:3

Despite what the world would have us believe, children are a GIFT from our creator. It doesn’t matter if your child is a result of some type of sin or your family believes 6 kids is too many. It doesn’t matter if there is risk of autism or other developmental concerns, or if you aren’t sure how you can financially feed another mouth. The concerns you have may be valid, but when your Father gives you a gift, wouldn’t you believe He would give you the means to care for it?

For me personally, (again, because everyone is different) I hate feeling like I have to hide a pregnancy (possibly because I just talk too much). At 4 weeks pregnant I am absolutely excited and thankful to be carrying life. I want to to tell people about this blessing. Already, I have a team of prayer warriors checking up on me and praying for my unborn child. I think keeping pregnancy a secret before now actually heightened my anxiety. You have to lie to people about the most simple things. You’re not eating, being sick, taking time off from work, not drinking if you do…all kinds of random things that are hard to talk your way out of! This time, I am choosing truth. I’m choosing faith.

A Few Quick Facts

• No, this pregnancy wasn’t planned. We had loosely put permanent birth control vs. another child on our vision board, but this was God’s plan.
• No, I haven’t been to the doctor yet, but I have an appointment scheduled.
• Current symptoms: nausea, bloating (so much bloating!), increased tiredness, and weird appetite. There was some spotting just today that I believe may be implantation bleeding.
• Yes, we have told our close family and friends we naturally come in contact with. My husband hasn’t been pressed to communicate – he doesn’t like to be the center of attention in any conversation.

• No, we haven’t communicated with our employers. I’m not sure when we will. It’s not that we’re afraid, in my case it’s more that no one would really care. Telling them wouldn’t bring me any additional joy. So, unless my symptoms begin to impact my performance I will wait to communicate when the time is right.

How Did We Find Out?

• I took a pregnancy test because my cycle had been irregular the past few months. I forgot about it and left it in the bathroom. The next morning I woke up and opened my bathroom drawer and basically screamed. My husband came in thinking there was a bug to squish. We both pretty much freaked out for the rest of the entire day – as I took 4 more tests – all positive.

Keep us in prayer

If you’ve made it this far, please keep our little family in prayer. There are a ton of decisions weighing on us and we already had a hectic start to the year. We aren’t sure when or if we will “announce” formally at any given time. It’s been important to invest in a community of people who actually care about our well being. If you interact with us regularly, you’ll know, if you don’t…

If you are interested in my previous birth stories. You can check out Naomi’s here and Noelle’s here.

How about you, do you wish you had kept your pregnancy a secret longer? Or do you wish you had told people a soon as you found out? I’d love to hear your thoughts about this post in the comments!