5 Reasons To Stop Touching My Hair

I bet most of you are wondering why you need a list of 5 reasons to stop touching anyone’s hair. Let me immediately put out a disclaimer to the title of this article. You know when you’re friends or well enough acquainted with someone to ask them questions…or maybe even touch their hair. If you’re BFFs with your co-worker or random lady you met at Target, this post probably doesn’t apply to you.

Why is this topic even a thing?

I’ve been employed by, gone to church, crafted, worked out, and even lived next to people who didn’t know me well enough to ask intimate questions about my hair and chose to anyway. My desire to write this post really began to flare up this week as I had my Sisterlocks®️ consultation and now prepare to drastically change the state of my hair. For most women, especially black women, changing your hair immediately results in a ton of a attention whether you want it or not.

(1) It’s awkward. Touching someone’s hair is the equivalent of touching a pregnant person’s stomach in my book. Ask first and don’t get in your feelings if the response is a quick and quiet “no”. It’s not a privilege that anyone owes you just because it wouldn’t bother you if the action was reciprocated. It seems like you should just be able to reach out and twirl the hair around your fingers because it’s so perfectly curled or “interesting looking”. However, you are seriously invading our personal space. Hair is an intimate and, for some people, spiritual part of the body.
(2) It draws unwanted attention. Speaking solely from my own experience, every time I’ve changed my hair and someone made a big deal about it – I immediately became like a fish in an aquarium. People want to “ooo” and “ahh” and ask a thousand questions as they try to dig through my tresses. The questions themselves are always embarrassing to answer. “Is it real?” “How does it do that?” “But it was long/short/red/black yesterday. Explain.” “Well let me feel your hair underneath.” Unfortunately, most minorities in the workplace already feel that they have to water down their personalities to assimilate in their place of business. No one wants the added attention of explaining their crochet braids to their supervisor.
(3) It messes up the hair! You have no idea how long it can take to do our hair in the morning. We might have three kinds of edge control gels and the black gel on top to keep our hair perfectly in place. The humidity plus whether or not the hair is actually real can also really alter the amount of mirror checks we have to do during the day to make sure nothing is out of place. Tussling someone’s hair right before a meeting is a quick way to earn the distaste of your female coworker (that’s also happened to me).

Furthermore…

(4) The hair might not be real. Let me break this down the best I can. Wearing wigs or extensions is not exclusive to black women. Plenty of women of all ethnicities wear hair that doesn’t naturally grow out of their scalp. Have you ever considered the reason why? Many of us can’t manage our hair, have damaged sections that can’t grow, or even have medicinal illnesses that have caused total hair loss. While you think running your hands through someone’s hair is a harmless compliment, for a lot of women it’s an area of insecurity.
(5) The style might be protective. A protective style is one that allows your hair to grow by keeping it more secure, to encourage low manipulation. Braids, wigs, and sew-ins are all examples. I’m personally about to have Sisterlocks®️ established. It’s bit different than a protective style because it’s permanent. Sometimes we are wearing a protective style that we don’t like or are counting down the days to get rid of simply because it’s purpose is to grow the hair we naturally have so that we don’t have to wear it anymore.

Overall

Most women are on some type of journey with their hair. Whether it’s their real hair or not. It’s not something we have the luxury to do privately. Be respectful and keep your hands to yourself.

Check out this video – Stop Asking If Our Hair Is Real – that pairs nicely with the 5 reasons to stop touching my hair. And don’t forget to scroll through my blog library to see other relevant posts! Let me know your thoughts below. Do you mind when people touch your hair?